


Protective Instinct

by DanaWPatterson



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-13 16:18:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18034967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaWPatterson/pseuds/DanaWPatterson
Summary: It wasn’t fair. Tasha couldn’t die. Not here, not now. Patterson needed to tell her how she felt. She needed Tasha to know that she loved her so intensely that she’d lay down her own life just to protect her.





	1. You Gotta Protect Her

**Author's Note:**

> After I finished “Tattoos” I said something like, “now I don’t know what to write.” Then, like a bolt out of the blue I’ve got this new short piece. Let’s travel back to the end of Season 2. This fic starts at the end of episode 21 (“Mom”). The second chapter, coming soon, will put us at the end of episode 22 (“Lepers Repel”).

The initial pain in her left shoulder wasn’t too bad. That was probably just shock. Reade had cleared the corridor while Tasha checked out a nearby room. He said the hallway was clear but the gunman had been overlooked as one of the dead Sandstorm operatives. He’d gotten off a good shot: the bullet missed the vest and ripped through Tasha’s shoulder. The force of the hit spun her around but the wall had stopped her progress and now she slumped against it, allowing herself to slide to the floor.

Reade seemed to notice that she’d been shot before the injury truly even registered with Tasha. He fired his own weapon at the operative and then rushed back to where Tasha was drooped against the wall staring straight ahead. Blood quickly began to soak through her shirt and she was overcome by dizziness. The shot had ripped through her subclavian artery and she was losing blood fast.

They’d been guarding the hallways leading to the server room so Patterson could set to work shorting out the lab. Shepherd and her team were after the Homeland Security Intranet connection and the lab was home to the only terminal in the entire building with access to it. Once she’d gained access to the server room, Patterson had been able to destroy her lab with just a few keystrokes. She made the call to the Department of Homeland Security to spread word of the attack and then jogged back along the hallway and around the barricade Reade and Tasha had crouched behind only moments earlier.

"They were able to evacuate the high val—" Patterson began conversationally as she headed towards Reade. She spotted Tasha slumped against the wall, her blouse soaked crimson. Reade was holding her hand and the color had drained out of her face. Patterson rushed to her and crouched down in front of her. She was struck by a wave of panic and her voice rose an octave as she spoke. "Tasha? No no no no no."

"She’s lost a lot of blood," Reade told her. "We can’t risk moving her."

"I’ll radio. I’ll radio for help," Patterson stammered as she got back up.

"Go! Go!" Reade yelled, urging Patterson to move more quickly.

Patterson dashed away back towards the server room where she’d left her radio and Reade turned his attention back to Tasha. The brunette was squeezing his hand in an attempt to get his attention. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she struggled for air. Each breath came out as a ragged gasp. She met his eyes.

"You gotta go," she whispered. It was an effort just to speak. "You gotta protect her."

Reade shook his head.

"No, I’m not gonna leave your side, alright?" he said as he gave Tasha’s hand a squeeze. "I’m gonna be right here with you. Alright? I’m not gonna leave you. You just gotta stay with me."

Tasha heard Reade’s voice, but he seemed so far away. The words he was saying meant nothing to her. She was vaguely aware of the pressure of his hand in hers and she tried to squeeze it again. He needed to go. He needed to leave her where she was and go protect Patterson. She gave his hand a weak squeeze in hopes that he’d understand that there was nothing he could do for her. It was a waste of time to be sitting here holding her hand. Patterson was more important. She needed him to go and watch over Patterson.

Reade returned the squeeze.

"Hey, I’m here," he said. "It’s okay. Patterson’s gone to get help. You’ll be okay."

Tasha tried to shake her head but barely was able to look up. He wasn’t understanding.

"No," she said faintly. "You have to go with Patterson. Keep her safe. For me."

Reade leaned closer to Tasha. Her words were so faint he could barely make them out.

"Don’t worry, Tasha," he said. "You’re safe. Help is coming."

She tried to take a deep breath and shake her head but the effort of simply taking the breath was too much. Tasha closed her eyes and let her weight go fully against the wall. Patterson’s face filled her mind’s eye. She’d had one job, protect Patterson and keep her safe, but she’d failed. She never wanted to fail Patterson but there was nothing she could do now. She could barely hold her head up on her own. Tasha fleetingly wondered if this would be where it ended for her. Would she die in the hallway of the NYO? If she did, she’d never get a chance to tell Patterson everything she wanted to say to her.

Tasha took a deep shuddery breath and opened her eyes again. Reade was staring at her intently. His face was full of worry and Tasha knew it wasn’t good. This was going to be the end. She’d failed Patterson, the most perfect person in the entire world, and in failing her, she’d never be able to tell her that she loved her.

It wasn’t just that she loved Patterson. Tasha was in love with the scientist. She wasn’t sure when it had happened but somewhere along the way, she’d found herself head over heels in love with her best friend. When Reade tried to kiss her, she’d stopped him. She wished it’d been Patterson. She wouldn’t have stopped her. But Patterson was in the hospital recovering from the torture Borden and Shepherd put her through. Seeing her there later had almost broken her. It’d been too much. She couldn’t stand the idea of losing Patterson. Now Tasha made peace with the possibility that she might die but she couldn’t get over something possibly happening to Patterson. She tried Reade again.

"Please," she said. "Patterson. You can’t let anything happen to her. If I die—"

"You’re not dying, Zapata," Reade interrupted. "Don’t talk like that. You’ll be okay."

"Shut up," Tasha rasped at Reade and coughed. She thought she tasted blood. She gathered up her strength again. "Listen. If I die, protect Patterson. Please, Reade."

"Okay," he said and gave her a serious nod. "But you’re not dying. Not today."

Tasha gave a weak smile. The hallway seemed to grow dim and another wave of dizziness rocked through her. She licked her lips. There was more that she had to say.

"Tell Patterson I lo..." her words trailed off as the world seemed to slide sideways. Everything went black.

***

Patterson rushed back to the server room and looked around wildly for her radio. She’d had it only minutes earlier but now couldn’t find it. She cursed herself for not clipping the stupid thing to her belt like she would have any other time. The seconds were ticking away and all Patterson could think about was Tasha sitting on the floor and all of the blood. There was a lot of blood.

She swallowed hard and spun around in the center of the room, scanning every surface. Her radio was on a nearby server stand and she grabbed it up. She pressed the talk button.

"Agents down," she said, trying to keep the worry out of her voice and replaced it with her most professional, business-like tone. "We need immediate medical response."

The radio crackled back almost immediately.

"Patterson, it’s Weller and Jane," Weller’s voice came through the speaker. "We’re in the building."

"Weller, Tasha’s down. She’s bleeding out." Patterson replied frantically. "And multiple other agents are down, too."

Weller’s voice was calm and full of command and Patterson found a little comfort in it.

"Alright," he said. "All units have a green light to breach the tunnel and enter the building. Patterson, take care of Tasha."

Patterson didn’t hesitate. She jammed the clip of the radio onto her belt and sprinted back out of the server room to where she’d left Tasha. Reade was still crouched over her and holding her hand.

"Medevac is coming," she said and pushed passed Reade. There was even more blood than there had been just a few moments earlier. Patterson flicked her eyes over Tasha’s body. The bullet had entered through her shoulder. From the amount of blood, Patterson guessed it’d hit an artery. "Have you tried to stop the bleeding?"

Reade shook his head.

"No," he admitted a bit sheepishly. "I didn’t want to move her."

Tasha was frighteningly pale and looked unconscious. Patterson put two fingers on her neck and felt a faint pulse. She pulled the radio off her belt and shoved it at Reade. She set to work on unbuckling her belt, ripping it quickly through her belt loops. She glanced over at Reade to see what he was wearing. Just his vest and dress shirt. She’d hoped for a pocket square or pretentious vest. Tasha was bleeding out, and Patterson wasn’t about to watch her best friend die on the floor in front of her. They needed to stop the bleeding or at least slow it. She dropped her belt to the floor and yanked her shirt free from where it’d been neatly tucked into her slacks. Her fingers worked the buttons quickly and she shrugged out of it.

"Woah, Patterson," Reade objected. Patterson was hovering in front of Tasha in just her bra and pants. She was folding her shirt into a square. She thrust it at Reade.

"Do you have a better idea?" she asked. "I need you to hold this over the entrance wound."

Reade didn’t react immediately and she grabbed the shirt back and carefully put it against Tasha’s bloody shirt. She pulled on Reade’s arm until his hand was holding the shirt in place.

"Just hold it there!" She scooped up her belt and wrapped it around Tasha’s torso. She tightened it until it was securely holding the shirt in place. Satisfied with her work, Patterson went to Tasha’s right side and grabbed the hand Reade wasn’t holding. She gave it a hard squeeze. "Okay, Tash, help is coming. Just hang on for me, okay? Just hang on. Please."

Patterson felt a tear run down her cheek and she squeezed Tasha’s hand again. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her friend. She didn’t want to lose Tasha without getting the chance to tell her all the things she wished she’d told her before. Tasha was more than her best friend, or at least Patterson wished she’d be more than her best friend. When she’d woken up in the hospital after Borden and Shepherd tortured her, Tasha had been waiting for her and Patterson’s heart fluttered. She’d never been so happy to see anyone before and she couldn’t imagine someone she’d rather see. It was then that she realized that she had fallen in love with Tasha.

It wasn’t fair. Tasha couldn’t die. Not here, not now. Patterson needed to tell her how she felt. She needed Tasha to know that she loved her so intensely that she’d lay down her own life just to protect her.

Patterson’s mind began to run away with her. It made the awful leap she was unwilling to make: what would life be like if Tasha died? She’d already lost one person she was in love with and she wasn’t willing to let that happen again.

***

They saved a lot of lives all over the country with just that one phone call Patterson made to Homeland Security. Federal buildings were evacuated and Shepherd’s plans were thwarted for the time being. Patterson should have felt good about that but she couldn’t get rid of the pit in her stomach. Dread had settled there and just walking down the corridors felt like a chore. She looked ahead towards her destination. It seemed so far away and the pit in her stomach grew. She needed to reach the door and go inside. She urged her feet to move her forward until she was face to face with a simple wooden door.

Patterson peaked through the small glass window and saw Reade. He was sitting in a chair, and the bulletproof vest he wore while clearing corridors at the NYO sat at his feet. She took a deep breath, rapped loudly on the door, and then pushed her way inside the hospital room.

"Good. Second shift has arrived," Reade said getting out of his chair. "I told her to take it easy and rest. Maybe you can knock some sense into her." He turned back to Tasha and gave her a serious look. His eyes were full of worry and exhaustion. It’d been a long day. "I’m gonna find some food and head back to the office. Sleep, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Tasha replied irritably. She gestured to the wires and tubes running out of her body. A thick white bandage covered her shoulder and part of her neck. "Not like I can go nowhere."

Reade stood for a second longer looking at her.

"I’m counting on you, Patterson," he said and clapped a hand over her shoulder as he headed towards the door.

Patterson didn’t say anything until Reade was out of the room. She stared at the closed door for a second before turning back towards the bed. Tasha looked so small and Patterson hated seeing her there but then she looked into Tasha’s eyes. She might be recovering from a gunshot wound but the fire hadn’t gone out of Tasha’s eyes.

"You can sit," Tasha said, looking to the chair next to the bed. "Unless you’re not staying."

"No, I’m staying," Patterson said and went to the chair. She set her bag on the floor and sat down next to Tasha. She looked down at her own hands before looking back at Tasha. "How do you feel?"

"Like I was shot," Tasha replied. She gave a small smile. "My ribs are sore like some cinched a belt around me."

Patterson’s eyes went wide.

"I’m sorry!" she said. "I had to. You were bleeding out. I didn’t know what else —"

"It’s okay, Patterson," Tasha interrupted. Her smile widened. "Reade told me what you did. You took off your shirt?"

"I didn’t want to lose you," Patterson said. She felt her face go three shades of red. "I needed something to try to stop the bleeding."

"Looks like it worked," Tasha said. "I’m still here."

Patterson nodded and looked away. She nervously played with her fingers. There were so many things she wanted to tell Tasha but now that she was sitting beside her hospital bed, she didn’t know what to say.

Tasha sensed the tension and she watched Patterson carefully. After a few moments of silence, she cleared her throat.

"Are you okay, Patterson?" she asked.

The question caught Patterson by surprise and she realized that she’d been sitting next to Tasha staring at the floor for a long time. She looked back up and met Tasha’s eyes. She quickly diverted her gaze.

"Yeah," she lied. "I just... when I saw you in the hall, there was a lot of blood. I was afraid you might die."

"I was afraid of the same thing," Tasha admitted.

When she’d been slumped in the hallway there were so many things she’d wanted to say to Patterson. She was afraid she’d never have the chance to tell her how she felt but now confessing those feelings was frightening. Patterson was her friend. What if Tasha admitted her feelings but it freaked Patterson out. She didn’t want to lose her best friend. She bit her lip as she thought about what to say next. There were so many what-ifs running through her mind.

What if she told Patterson and she freaked? What if she didn’t tell Patterson and she just continued to bury her feelings? Their lives were so chaotic. It wasn’t like neither of them had been seriously injured at work before. Would she be okay never telling Patterson? If something else happened, Tasha feared that her feelings would gnaw at her.

"What are you thinking?" Patterson asked after a moment. "Are you okay? Should I get a doctor?"

Tasha shook her head. "No, I’m okay," she said. She took a breath and decided to throw caution to the wind. It was now or never. She didn’t want to think about never. "I was just thinking about what happened. I was sitting there and I was sure I was going to die."

"Tash, you don’t have to —" Patterson began.

"No, lemme finish," Tasha insisted. She licked her lips before continuing. "I was bleeding out. I was really, really scared I was gonna die. But I was less worried about dying than protecting you. I tried to get Reade to follow you to the server room to guard you. He wouldn’t go."

"No," Patterson agreed. "He needed to stay with you. I was okay."

"I know but I didn’t know what was happening. That you’d stopped Shepherd. I didn’t know," she said. She looked up to the ceiling to gather her thoughts and then looked back at Patterson. She looked straight into her eyes and gave a small smile. "I didn’t want – I don’t want – anything to happen to you."

Patterson smiled and reached out for Tasha’s hand. She gave it a friendly squeeze.

"I didn’t want anything to happen to you, either. I’m really glad you’re okay."

Tasha returned Patterson’s smile but held her hand tighter. Holding her hand made her feel stronger and what she was about to say became easier.

"You’re my best friend," Tasha continued. "And I love you."

"I love you, too, Tash."

Tasha shook her head. "No, Patterson, you don’t understand," she said. "I’m in love with you. When I was bleeding out, I was worried I’d never get to tell you. I’m in love with you."

Patterson didn’t respond. She just stared at Tasha. For a full minute she thought she’d misheard. Tasha had not confessed her feelings for her, that was just her brain telling her what she wanted to hear. Patterson was in love with Tasha. It wasn’t the other way around. She felt Tasha let go of her hand and pull back slightly. Patterson became aware of the awkward silence.

"Did you say you’re in love with me?" Patterson asked quietly. She wanted to look away but she didn’t want to take her eyes off Tasha. She was certain she’d misheard.

Tasha nodded.

"I’m sorry," she said. "I don’t want to screw up our friendship. I just needed to tell you."

Patterson stood up from her chair and turned away from the bed. She didn’t know what to do. Tasha just said the exact thing she’d been thinking herself when she’d held her hand in the hallway and waited for the paramedics. She started to pace as she tried to work through all of her thoughts.

"Please don’t leave," Tasha said quietly. "Please. I’d rather be your friend if it means I’ve freaked you out."

Patterson stopped pacing and realized how close she was to the door. It actually looked like she’d been getting ready to leave. She turned back to Tasha.

"I wasn’t leaving," she said and took a few quick steps back to Tasha’s side. "I was just thinking about what to say."

"You don’t have to say anything."

"No, I do," Patterson replied. "I was really afraid I was going to lose you and I’ve already lost one person that I loved. I didn’t want to lose you, too."

"David," Tasha whispered.

Patterson nodded. "Yeah, David." She sat back in the chair and faced Tasha. She gave her a serious look and brushed her hair out of her face. This was it. She’d either tell Tasha or keep it to herself forever. She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I’m in love with you, too."

Tasha was about to respond when the sound of Patterson’s phone vibrating in her bag filled the room. She glanced towards the bag on the floor and saw Patterson rush to it, fish it out, and look at the screen.

Patterson looked from the phone over to Tasha.

"It’s Weller," she said. "I have to get back."

"Okay," Tasha said. "I should probably sleep. The doctor wanted me to rest."

Patterson picked her bag up off the floor and headed towards the door. She stopped with her hand on the knob and hesitated. She turned back to Tasha.

"Did you mean that?" she asked suddenly.

"What?"

"You said you’re in love with me. Did you mean it?"

Tasha nodded. "Yeah."

Patterson lingered at the door for another second as she made up her mind. She hurried back to Tasha’s bed and leaned down. She kissed Tasha lightly on the lips. When they separated she gave her a small smile.

"Good," she said. Her phone vibrated in her hand again and she glanced at it. "I have to go. I want to talk about this more but..."

"You have to go."

"Yeah," Patterson said. "I have to go."

Patterson gave Tasha a final look before heading to the door and slipping back out. Tasha closed her eyes when the door closed and she was once again alone in the room. She’d kissed Patterson or, rather, Patterson had kissed her. She wondered if anything would come of their declarations. If anything, she wouldn’t mind kissing her again.


	2. Because It's You

No one spoke on the way from Weller’s apartment out to the sidewalk. Their celebration had been cut short when Jane arrived. They didn't need to solve a tattoo to know that Tasha, Patterson, and Reade were three too many at a party clearly meant for two. They’d each made their excuses – Reade got a text from his buddy, Tasha was getting a ride from Reade, and Patterson, well, she hadn’t bothered with an excuse. She’d just shrugged into her jacket and told Jane and Weller to have fun.  

“So, you got a text from ‘your boy’?” Tasha teased, elbowing Reade. The movement sent a sharp wave of pain through her left shoulder. After everything they’d been through in the last few days, she’d almost forgotten that her bullet wound was still supremely fresh. She gritted her teeth and tried to hide a flinch but Patterson spotted it.  

“I was just... it looked like they could use some space,” Reade replied, glancing towards the sidewalk where his government-issued sedan was parked.  

Patterson saw Tasha reach a hand up to the bandage on her shoulder and she took a step closer so she could examine the wrapping better. She brushed Tasha’s hand away and noticed a spot of blood that had seeped through the white gauze.  

“Tasha, you’re bleeding,” she said as she tried to lift up the edge of the bandage to see the extent of the wound. “There’s a reason you were supposed to stay in the hospital.” 

Tasha pushed Patterson’s hand away and readjusted the medical tape, pushing it back down against her skin.  

“What? Like I was supposed to just sit there and do nothing?” 

“Yes actually,” Patterson replied. “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do.” 

Reade took another glance at his car.  

“Lemme take you home,” he said to Tasha and reached for her elbow. “You should probably get some rest.” 

Tasha bit her lip and cast a long look at Patterson. When Jane arrived at Weller’s she’d welcomed the opportunity to slip out. She hadn’t been able to spend a single second alone with Patterson since the hospital. There was so much that hadn’t been said. This could be the chance she was waiting for.  

Patterson sensed Tasha’s hesitation and reached out for the bandage again and smoothed the tape back down. 

“Actually, if you wanna come back to my place I can change that gauze and maybe get the bleeding to stop,” she said. “I mean, I just, I have a pretty good first aid kit.” 

Tasha nodded and stepped away from Reade’s reaching hand. She moved Patterson’s hand away again but gave her a smile. As much as she liked that it was Patterson making a fuss over her, she preferred if no one mother her.  

“Yeah, okay,” she said. “You sure you’re okay with helping?” 

Patterson returned the smile and grabbed for Tasha’s hand.  

“Happy to help,” she said.  

Reade gestured to his car again.  

“Need a lift?” 

Tasha was shaking her head before Patterson could even process Reade’s offer and open her mouth to respond.  

“No,” she said. “Patterson lives close. We can walk.” 

*** 

Tasha didn’t know what to say so she said nothing at all. She walked alongside Patterson as they traveled the few blocks to her apartment. Each time their hands brushed against each other’s Tasha felt a jolt go through her. The first time they touched, Tasha jerked her hand away as if she’d been shocked. After that, it almost seemed like Patterson was deliberately brushing against her but she did nothing to stop it. Truth be told, it was kind of nice, and she thought about holding Patterson’s hand. She decided against it.  

She tried to think of something to say but nothing sprang to mind. This was the first time she didn’t know what to say to Patterson. There were so many things she wanted to say but it all felt wrong. How do you bring up a conversation like the one they’d had in the hospital? She worried that by admitting her feelings she'd made things awkward between them.  

She glanced over at her from her peripheral vision but Patterson was seemingly focused on the sidewalk ahead of her. 

*** 

There was no doubt Tasha was nervous. Patterson sensed it almost immediately as they walked away from Reade and towards her apartment. Every now and again she saw Tasha looking at her from the corner of her eye. It was cute. Tasha was nervous to be with her. She’d never seen her like that before and she sorta liked it.  

Patterson brushed her hand against Tasha’s again and noticed the Latina jump. Patterson grinned and bit back a laugh as she turned towards the steps leading to her building. She fished her keys from her purse, worked the lock, and pushed the door inwards. She stepped to the side so Tasha could enter ahead of her.  

“I’ve got a first aid kit in the bathroom,” Patterson said as they climbed the stairs to her apartment, finally breaking the silence that had grown thick between them. She nodded towards the bandage on Tasha’s shoulder. “You’re really bleeding.” 

Tasha looked down and saw the blood spot. It’d been much smaller at Weller’s. Now it was nearly double in size and covered most of the bandage. She didn’t want to go back to the hospital and hoped that whatever Patterson had upstairs would be enough to keep her from going back.  

“I might have pulled some stitches,” Tasha admitted as Patterson unlocked the door to the apartment and walked in. She hung her jacket up on a rack as she went and set her keys down in a dish on a side table.  

“Do you want a drink or anything? I’ve got wine and beer and —” 

“I probably shouldn’t drink,” Tasha said. She gestured towards the bloody gauze. “Probably won’t help this situation any.” 

Patterson frowned and nodded. She should have thought of that.  

“Okay,  well, there’s water and juice and whatever’s in the fridge. Just help yourself. You know where it is,” Patterson said. “I’ll grab the first aid kit.” 

She gave Tasha one more look before disappearing down the short hallway towards the bathroom. There were a million things she wanted to say to Tasha, things she wouldn’t have been able to say in a room full of her friends and colleagues at Weller’s. Now, however, they were alone in her apartment. Patterson needed to continue their conversation from the hospital. If Tasha really had feelings for her, she didn’t want to wait any longer to act on them. She grabbed a white plastic box from beneath the bathroom sink and considered it for a moment while she remembered what Tasha said.  

_I’m in love with you. When I was bleeding out, I was worried I’d never get to tell you. I’m in love with you._  

Patterson felt her heart begin to race as Tasha’s words ran through her mind. She loved Tasha and this was her chance to do something about it. She didn’t want to waste another opportunity.  

Tasha dropped onto the couch with a bottle of water in hand just as Patterson returned. She pointed to a bottle on the table.  

“I grabbed you one, too, just in case,” Tasha said and eyed the first aid kit in Patterson’s hands. She gave what she hoped was a flirty but still friend appropriate wink. “Ready for your patient, Doctor?” 

“I don’t have a doctorate,” Patterson corrected. She then realized that Tasha had been teasing and felt herself blush slightly. “Oh. Yeah, I think I’ve got everything we need.” 

Patterson hesitated before sitting down next to Tasha. She hadn’t really thought this through. She’d have to sit next to Tasha and put her hands on her. Near her chest. 

She set the box of medical supplies down on the table next to the bottle of water and opened it. She began removing items making a small pile of gauze, medical tape, and packets of antiseptic wipes. Patterson looked back at Tasha.  

“Do you wanna, maybe, pull the old bandage off?” she asked.  

Tasha set her water bottle down on the table and began pulling at the tape holding the gauze in place. The wrappings were partially obscured by her jacket and after a few moments of struggling she stopped pulling at the bandage and took off her jacket. She flinched in pain.  

“Hurts that bad?” Patterson asked.  

“Only when I move,” Tasha replied and returned to pulling at the bandage which stubbornly would not come loose. “Ow ow ow ow ow!” 

“Okay okay okay okay!” Patterson said as she quickly moved closer to Tasha and pushed her hand away. “Stop. You’re just making it worse. Let me...” She trailed off as she slowly began to lift the edges of the tape until reaching the collar of Tasha’s shirt. The bottom half of the wrapping disappeared beneath it. Patterson began to try working mindfully around it but short of putting her hand down Tasha’s shirt, there was no way it was coming loose.  

“Hang on.” Tasha said, noticing Patterson's problem. She leaned back into the couch, away from Patterson’s hands. Her fingers went to her shirt buttons and she began opening the garment.  

Patterson tried to hide her surprise. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen Tasha without a shirt before – they shared a common locker room, after all — but this was different. Tasha was sitting on her couch, dangerously close to her, and she was just casually unbuttoning her shirt. Patterson turned her head, looking anywhere and everywhere but at Tasha. 

Tasha noticed the expression on the blonde’s face as she slipped the shirt off her shoulders and let the left strap of her bra fall down her arm, leaving the bandage fully accessible. 

“What? It’s not like you’ve never seen me without a shirt before,” she said. “Besides, Reade said you took your shirt off in the middle of the NYO.” 

“Yeah,” Patterson replied defensively. “But only because I thought you were bleeding to death and I didn’t want you to die.” 

Tasha smirked and raised an eyebrow. She wished she'd been conscious and had seen this.  

“Okay fine, well now I’m taking  _my_ shirt off because I’m bleeding to death and I don’t want to die,” she said and grabbed for Patterson’s shoulder, turning her around again so they were facing each other. “Could you please save my life?” 

Patterson made a conscious effort to look only at Tasha’s face or the now exposed gauze. Her eyes started to wander once and she snapped them back to the bandage as she finished gently pulling it away. Once she had it removed, the problem was obvious: the surgical adhesive used to hold the wound closed had let go slightly. Tasha tried to look down at it but Patterson’s hands blocked her view.  

“How bad is it?” she asked, trying to crane her neck to see. 

Patterson didn’t respond right away. It wasn’t  _good_ , if that’s what Tasha wanted to know, but she thought she might be able to make the bleeding stop without a trip back to the hospital. She reached to the pile of supplies on the table and grabbed an antiseptic wipe packet.  

“Could be worse,” Patterson replied with a hint of optimism in her voice as she ripped open the packet and unfolded the contents. “This might sting.” 

Tasha hissed with surprise and pain. Patterson hadn’t hesitated. She’d just put the alcohol-soaked cloth against the open wound and, she was right. It stung. After a few seconds, the pain subsided and all she felt was Patterson gently cleaning the area, the flesh of her palm lightly brushing against the exposed top of her left breast.  

“Sorry,” Patterson apologized as she tossed the wipe aside and grabbed for a tube of Neosporin which she quickly uncapped. She squeezed a small amount of antibiotic onto her finger and rubbed it thickly over the gunshot wound, causing Tasha to shiver. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tasha said as she tried to forget the hand that kept lightly brushing over her left breast. The heal of Patterson’s hand was nearly rubbing against her bra-clad nipple and she closed her eyes, silently reprimanding herself for even thinking about Patterson like that right now. “It’s just cold.” 

Patterson nodded slightly and then realized her hand was lingering. She pulled it away quickly and turned back towards the table. She grabbed a stack of gauze pads and handed them to Tasha.  

“Here,” she said, thrusting the gauze at her. Patterson was having a hard time looking at Tasha in her current state of undress. All she could think about was their conversation in the hospital and that, even though she was bleeding, Tasha was topless in her apartment and she had an overwhelming urge to put her mouth on her breast and run her tongue over... She let the thought vanish and picked up a roll of medical tape. “Hold that over your wound. I’ll tape it in place.” 

Tasha did as Patterson instructed and waited while the scientist taped down the bandage. When she was finished, Patterson sat back to admire her handiwork.  

“There,” she said. “That should do it. Looks pretty good.” 

Patterson felt herself staring at Tasha and abruptly turned her gaze away, finding the bottle of water that had been left on the table for her. She fumbled the cap and took a long swallow. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she was. But she had to admit, the bandage looked pretty good. Tasha didn’t look bad either.  

Tasha watched Patterson for a moment and then reached for her own bottle. She unscrewed the cap and sipped at it. She wondered if either of them would work up enough courage to bring up the elephant in the room. They were in love with each other. Or maybe they weren’t. Maybe Patterson had just said it because she didn’t know what else to say. But they’d kissed. Tasha hadn’t imagined that. Patterson had crossed the hospital room and kissed her. She took another swallow of her water and looked at Patterson again. The blonde was staring at the wall, drinking absently. Tasha bit her lip and made up her mind. She’d bite the bullet and bring it up.  

“Remember in the hospital?” Patterson asked abruptly, cutting off Tasha before she could even start.  

Tasha nodded.  

“Distinctly,” she replied. 

“So you remember what you told me?” Patterson continued. She paused for a response but then continued on without one. “You said you’re in love with me.” 

Tasha nodded again. She took another swallow.  

“Yeah, I’m in love with you,” Tasha confirmed.  

“Right.” 

Patterson fell silent again. She turned her attention away from the spot she was staring at on the wall and looked at Tasha. She couldn’t help but notice that her shirt was still off and she subconsciously ran her eyes over Tasha’s tight abdominal muscles and the tops of her breasts. Even marred with a gunshot wound, Patterson was struck by how beautiful Tasha was. She licked her lips and thought about what she wanted to tell her. Truth be told, she wasn’t sure she wanted to say anything. Her mind had shut down and her body was trying to take control. And her body wanted her to go to Tasha, wrap her arms around her, and kiss her everywhere. She took a deep breath and tried to reboot her brain. 

“It’s okay, Patterson,” Tasha said as the silence began to spin out. “I know what you said in the hospital but, it’s okay. You don’t have to mean it. You don’t have to be in love with me just because I have feelings for you. It’s okay.” 

“Stop saying ‘okay’,” Patterson admonished and shook her head. “It’s not okay. Ever since the hospital, it’s all I’ve been thinking about. I kissed you.” 

“You kissed me,” Tasha confirmed.  

Neither spoke again. Patterson didn’t know what to say. She was so used to taking the lead in almost every other situation but this was different. It was Tasha, her best friend. How do you go from friends to more without ruining the friendship? She didn’t know and she wondered if the gamble would be worth it. Would taking their relationship to a more physical, intimate one be worth the potential fallout if it didn’t work out?  

“Was that okay?” Patterson asked and cringed as soon as the question was out.  

“Better than okay.” 

Patterson hmmed and looked down at the table. She wished Tasha would put her shirt back on. She didn’t want to stare at her but was finding it hard to look away. She noticed the remains of the first aid kit strewn about on the table and started to put the unused supplies back in the white case, snapping it closed. Tasha watched her closely.  

“You think about it?” she asked.  

Patterson nodded and looked away from the white plastic box on the coffee table. She swallowed hard. She thought about it all the time. That quick kiss in the hospital replayed in her mind all the time and then inevitably she’d start to think about what could have happened if it had been a different time and a different place. She twisted her lips and considered Tasha’s question.  

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I think about it.” 

“And?” 

Patterson shrugged. If she ever wanted a chance to kiss Tasha again or take her out on a date, she’d have to just make it happen. It was now or never.  

“I don’t know, Tash,” Patterson replied and let out a short sigh. “It’s you so I don’t want to... I don’t want to lose our friendship because I can’t stop thinking about kissing you. You’re my best friend, and I kissed you. And I don’t feel bad about it.” 

Tasha furrowed her brow and frowned.  

“Do you think you should feel bad about it?” 

“I don’t know,” she replied. “You were in the hospital and I thought you might die and you were on painkillers and maybe I shouldn’t have kissed—” 

“Stop, Patterson,” Tasha interrupted. “You’re rambling. I’m glad you kissed me. It wasn’t painkillers and you didn’t take advantage of anything. Don’t make this so complicated. Don’t overthink it. You’re my best friend, too. I love you. I’d kiss you over and over again and I wouldn’t feel bad about it. Because it’s you.” 

Something flickered in Patterson’s eyes. Tasha said the magic words, the ones that made her stomach do somersaults:  _I’d kiss you over and over again...because it’s you._ She made up her mind and turned to face Tasha again. She glanced down at the brunette’s lips as if asking permission and then leaned in, kissing her friend long and hard on the lips.  

Tasha returned the kiss immediately, her hands going to Patterson’s waist and urging her closer. When they separated after a moment, Tasha ran her tongue along her lip. Patterson tasted like something she was having a hard time placing. It was sweet and almost like strawberries but that wasn’t it. She leaned forward and licked Patterson’s bottom lip before capturing her in a second more intense kiss.  

Goosebumps broke out over Patterson’s skin as Tasha’s tongue flickered over her lip. She moaned quietly, feeling a hand thread into her hair and nails scraping lightly over the back of her neck. Her hands found Tasha’s bare torso and she ran her fingers lightly over her abs before settling a hand on her right breast and giving a gentle squeeze.  As the kiss deepened, she felt herself being pulled forward and down as Tasha leaned backwards against the arm of the couch. Before she knew it, Patterson was hovering over Tasha with a knee on each side of her body, and Tasha had her arms wrapped around her neck.  

They broke the kiss finally and Patterson pulled back slightly, allowing a string of saliva to stretch between them. She rested her forehead against Tasha’s as she caught her breath and they exchanged a broad smile. She kissed her again and began placing kisses along Tasha’s neck and collarbone. She dropped her head to Tasha's chest and lifted one bra cup away, carefully avoiding the bandage, but froze in mid kiss as she felt the other woman’s body go rigid beneath her. 

Tasha let out a short gasp and pushed Patterson up and away from her. 

“What? Are you okay?” Patterson asked. Her eyes went wide as she sat back quickly. 

“My shoulder,” Tasha replied and felt tears prick her eyes. She couldn’t lie like this for much longer, and she struggled back into a sitting position putting additional distance between them. Being propped up by the arm of the couch while Patterson pressed against her, no matter how gently, was sending waves of pain through her. She clapped a protective hand over her injury. “I can’t be propped like that. It’s too much stress on my shoulder. Feels like I’m being torn in half.” 

“Oh my god,” Patterson replied. “I am so sorry. I didn’t even think. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m so —” 

Tasha silenced Patterson with another kiss.  

“Shhh. Stop, Patterson,” she said. “I want this. I want  _you_. I just can’t. Not on the couch. It hurts too much.” 

Patterson didn't respond. She'd never intended to hurt Tasha. She'd just gotten carried away. Tasha’s kisses were incredible. Soft, firm, and sweet. Plus she tasted slightly sugary. She didn't know what it was but Patterson liked it.  

Tasha reached over and grabbed Patterson's hand. She held her gaze for a long moment.  

“I just can't do this  _here_ ,” she repeated, putting emphasis on the last word. “But the bedroom…” She let her meaning sink in as her words trailed off and raised an eyebrow. “I could do this,” she said kissing Patterson's neck, “and this,” she continued, darting her tongue out and licking her earlobe, and dropping a hand suggestively into Patterson’s lap, “and a few other things. But not here.” 

Patterson arched an eyebrow and looked back at Tasha. She kissed her again.  

“Are you sure?” she asked quietly. “If we go into the bedroom -" 

“Shhhh, Patterson,” Tasha whispered and kissed her. “I know. That’s the idea.” 

Patterson hesitated on the couch for only a second and then got to her feet. She extended a hand down to Tasha and helped her up and onto her feet.  

“You’re sure? Like sure sure?” she asked again, her eyes falling on the new bandage on Tasha’s shoulder.  

“Stop asking,” Tasha replied and started walking towards the bedroom door, tugging lightly on Patterson’s arm. When Patterson didn’t move, she turned back to look at her. “Are you coming?” 

Patterson allowed herself to be pulled towards the bedroom. Once inside, Tasha turned around and caught her in another kiss. Patterson responded by wrapping her arms around her waist as she carefully guided her to the edge of the bed. Tasha sat without protest, grabbing at Patterson's belt loops as she sat. She gave a single hard yank, and the blonde dropped onto the edge of the bed beside her as they broke their kiss. Tasha scooted backwards up towards a pile of pillows near the headboard and crooked a finger at the blonde, beckoning her towards her. 

There was something so incredibly sexy and seductive about the pose Tasha was inadvertently striking. Her dark hair was fanned around her head on the pillows and her chest was heaving as she encouraged Patterson to join her on the bed. Patterson’s palms felt slick as she kicked her shoes off and began quickly unbuttoning her own shirt. She returned Tasha’s heated gaze and crawled up the bed until she was next to her. Patterson placed a hand on Tasha’s hip and leaned towards her, kissing her passionately. It’d taken quite a few kisses but Patterson was almost certain that the sugary taste on her lips was the remains of the mocha swirl latte Tasha had earlier in the day. She wondered if she tasted like the strawberry iced tea she’d had.  

As they kissed, Patterson’s right hand began to wander down the length of Tasha’s body, coming to a stop between her legs. She urged them to part slightly and began caressing her through her pants. Tasha gave a quiet moan at the contact and she nipped at Patterson’s lower lip. She wrapped her arms around Patterson and began to work the closure of her bra, but the stress of reaching caused a dull throb of pain in her shoulder. Tasha bit back a sharp hiss as she quit trying to unhook Patterson’s bra.  

“You okay?” Patterson asked.  

“Yeah,” Tasha said and placed a kiss on her shoulder. “I just can’t get it unhooked. It hurts to reach.” 

Patterson hmmed her understanding and stopped her own ministrations. She leaned away from Tasha and reached behind herself, quickly releasing the clasp and letting her bra fall down her arms and onto the bed. Tasha couldn’t take her eyes off of Patterson’s now exposed breasts and she clumsily reached behind herself to try to unhook her own bra. The pain of reaching behind herself was almost as bad as reaching a round Patterson and Tasha flinched.  

“Let me,” Patterson said as she leaned close to Tasha. She kissed her cheek and then her neck while her hands deftly unclasped Tasha’s bra. She pulled it slowly away from Tasha’s chest and down her arms as she placed a series of small kisses on Tasha’s neck and mouth. When she’d discarded the garment alongside her own, she kissed Tasha hard on the mouth and guided her backwards so she was once again lying against the pillows. She slowly worked her way down Tasha’s body, kissing her chin, the hollow of her throat, and between her breasts. Patterson kissed the sides of each breast before sucking Tasha’s right breast into her mouth.  

Tasha groaned as Patterson swirled her tongue around the hardening peak of her nipple. Her groan intensified when Patterson dropped her hand back down to her pants, pushing inside the garment. Her hand found the warm, damp skin of Tasha’s arousal and Patterson cupped her, letting her fingers dip between her folds. Tasha tipped her head back against the pillows, her hips rising off the bed as Patterson increased the pressure. She brought her hands to the waist of her pants and fumbled with the button, desperate to feel more of Patterson’s skin on her own. 

Patterson shucked her pants as Tasha shimmied out of her own pants and tossed them to the floor. She turned her attention to her panties and started to tug them down her hips but Patterson grabbed her wrist and held it firmly. 

“No, not yet,” he said. 

Tasha felt a gush of moisture flood between her legs at Patterson’s tone. She sounded completely in control and it was the biggest turn on Tasha could imagine. She let her hands fall away as Patterson returned to her mouth and kissed her slowly and deeply, their tongues battling each other as Patterson pressed Tasha further into the mattress. 

Patterson got to her knees and straddled Tasha. She lowered herself down until their hips were touching and made eye contact with Tasha before kissing her and rolling her hips down against Tasha’s. Tasha gave a desperate moaning sound and grabbed Patterson’s ass, pulling her as close to her as possible. She raised her hips against Patterson every time the blonde brought her hips back down until she was panting in Patterson’s ear. Patterson’s mouth had worked its way down Tasha’s torso again and she was busy lapping at her nipples, sucking on them and biting lightly on them as Tasha writhed beneath her. 

“Patterson,” Tasha moaned as Patterson’s teeth scraped against a hard nipple. “Oh my god, P.” 

Patterson slid down Tasha’s body, licking a trail from Tasha’s breasts to the top edge of her panties. She kissed along the edge and then pushed her legs apart. She kissed and nipped along the inside of each thigh and then kissed her fabric covered mound. She rubbed her through the material as she continued to kiss her thighs, feeling Tasha respond by pushing back against her hand. Patterson grinned wickedly as Tasha said something in Spanish and she pulled her panties down her legs in one motion.  

Tasha felt the cool air against her skin but as she reached out for Patterson, she couldn’t find her. She strained to look up and saw the other woman sitting on the bed just looking at her. She grew self-conscious.  

“What? What’s wrong?” Tasha asked, her arousal suddenly forgotten. She cast a worried glance towards the bandage on her chest. “Am I bleeding again?” 

Patterson shook her head and crawled up the bed again. She kissed Tasha passionately on the lips.  

“Nothing’s wrong,” Patterson whispered. “You’re gorgeous.”  

She kissed her again before making her way back down her body, leaving a trail of kisses and nips in her wake. When she reached the apex of Tasha’s thighs, she placed another kiss just below her belly button before dipping her head lower and kissing her lower lips slowly, almost as passionately as she’d kissed her mouth, using her tongue to explore her wet folds.  

Patterson began licking and kissing around Tasha’s lips. Her tongue darted between them, reaching as deeply as she could inside of her. Tasha was already so wet Patterson could feel the moisture glistening on her chin. She pulled back slightly and placed a hard kiss over Tasha’s clit, causing the Latina’s hips to buck against her face. Patterson buried her nose into Tasha’s pubic bone and let her tongue flicker and dance over the sensitive bundle of nerves.  

Tasha gave a high-pitched moan as Patterson gave her clit a sharp suck before licking around it again, and Tasha shoved a hand into Patterson’s hair, holding her tight against her. As Patterson licked and sucked, she dropped her hand back down and ran her index finger through Tasha’s moisture. She gave her clit another hard suck just as she worked her index finger inside of her.  

“Yes,” Tasha gasped, her hips bucking again. Patterson worked the digit slowly in and out in time with each lick. Tasha’s hips bucked again and Patterson added her middle finger to her trusting index finger. She scissored them slightly as she withdrew and rotated them as she reentered.  

Patterson picked up the pace as Tasha moaned loudly. The grip on her hair tightened as her tongue expertly circled Tasha’s clit, eliciting a mewling sound from the brunette. 

“Don’t stop, P,” Tasha begged. “Please.” 

Tasha felt her orgasm approaching. Each time Patterson’s tongue circled her clit or her teeth grazed the sensitive area, her hips bucked and toes curled. Her stomach felt like it was full of molten lava. She groaned something that she thought was Patterson’s name but it came out as just an unintelligible sound. Her hips bucked again as Patterson pistoned her fingers more quickly and she squirmed on the bed, trying to get Patterson’s fingers to hit a spot inside of her that would make her fall apart.  

“Don’t be so impatient,” Patterson admonished as she slowed her fingers and drew back. Her face was glistening with Tasha’s juices. Tasha gave a whine and raised her hips again. She adjusted her grip on Patterson’s head and tried to push her back down.  

“Please,” Tasha begged again. “Patterson. Please.” 

Patterson smirked up at Tasha and then dropped back between her legs. She gave another long lick along Tasha’s folds and thrust her fingers hard, curling them slightly. They came upon the spot Tasha had been desperately trying to make contact with and Tasha’s mouth fell open but no sounds came out.  

“Found it,” Patterson grinned and gave another lick. She sucked and licked Tasha’s clit as she began rapidly fingering her friend. 

After a few moments she felt Tasha’s walls begin to spasm around her fingers and then they went tight, gripping the digits and trying to pull them further inside. Patterson doubled her efforts at her clit as she felt Tasha’s orgasm hit. She slowed her actions as Tasha’s body nearly lifted off the bed. Tasha’s thighs tightened around her head, and she gave a final lick as the grip on her head relaxed and Tasha’s thighs fell open again. Patterson gazed up towards Tasha’s face and saw her chest heaving.  

She withdrew her fingers, licked them clean and wiped her chin with the back of her hand. Patterson crawled back up the bed to lay down beside Tasha. She wrapped her arms around her waist and drew her body close to her. Patterson nuzzled into her neck and placed a kiss behind her ear.  

Neither woman spoke but soon Patterson felt Tasha’s breathing pattern change. Tasha was asleep. Patterson adjusted her arms and snuggled close. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift off to sleep. She didn’t know where this left their friendship but for now, she was happy to be curled up alongside her best friend.  


End file.
